I have been writing this post in my head every night as I fall asleep. I have felt my depression lately, which I think is understandable as I transition into a different life. I am exclusively working from home now, writing and sharing my oil love. I am thankful that my family allows me to follow my dreams, as unconventional as they are. I know that my transparency is a gift. I want to share that gift with everyone. I want them to know that they can make it through this. Things may not be ok right now, but they will be.
I believe that I was born with depression. I know that I have had to struggle more than others with my emotions. Often, they are overwhelming. I feel overwhelmed by my own thoughts. I feel almost suffocated. I feel like I can’t function or do much of anything. I don’t want to do anything. It is so difficult when you have to function and live! My depression takes on a life of it’s own and I become immobile. It is why I turned to alcohol and other drugs. I felt, just, sad. I almost feel like the real Vanessa gets burried in my depression. I get sucked into this muddy hole and I can’t climb out. I try and the hole gets deeper and more slippery. When I was active in my addiction I would just give in and let it swallow me.
Now that I have found Young Living Essential Oils, I can manage my depression without numbing who I am. It can be a difficult transition. I feel it coming. I feel the darkness surround me. That feeling is uncomfortable. My prescription pills didn’t allow me to feel the sadness, or anything at all. Now that I am managing my depression with oils, I have to learn a whole new way. I have to find the right combination for me, sometimes daily. I have to stay proactive and be in tune with my body. That is not an easy thing to do! It is much easier to take my scheduled pill, but it didn’t give me the ability to truly feel the good in life, too. I am not advising anyone to stop taking their medication. That is going to have to be your choice and you should consult with your doctor/therapist. You have to be diligent in taking care of yourself and your mental health. This is much easier said than done. I can be in a perfect mood, everything can be going perfectly, and then BOOM! depression smacks me in the face. I feel totally caught off guard. My life is going great, where did this come from!?
That is the thing. Depression isn’t about rational thought. It is so painful because I know with my rational mind, that I am happy, I am good. Depression isn’t about my rational mind. It is complete and udder irrationality. I also believe that the Anxiety I often suffer is from that fear of the irrational depression. The sadness that cloaks me with darkness for no explainable reason. It is a difficult thing to try to explain to a person who has never had depression. In fact, I don’t really think there is a way to really explain it. It doesn’t make sense. I just feel this sadness like a fog covering the beauty that is life.
I love life. I didn’t use to, but sobriety has given me the ability to truly see what life is. Appreciating it, is what I work towards each day in recovery. I am thankful for essential oils, that have given me the ability to appreciate life in an authentic way. I am not just existing the way I was in my active addiction. I am not getting by the way I was with synthetic chemical pills. I am living life to the fullest! I feel things, sometimes good and every now and then, bad. I can manage the bad now. I have oils to help me through that bad now. I only wish I had known sooner that they were an option.
I want to be clear that I am also striving to live a healthier life and there is NO way I could do this without my faith strongly rooted and active. That is another reason I love oils, they are Biblical. Oils are mentioned over 50 times in the Bible. I love that. I do my best, most of the time, to eat healthy(er), drink water and to maintain my growth in my sobriety and my Christian walk. Along with these things, I have found an oil routine to assist in a positive day. All oils have more than one purpose and everyone’s body chemistry requires different things. What works for me, won’t work for everyone else. I haven’t used an oil that wasn’t beneficial to me in some way.
In the morning, I apply Magnify Your Purpose and Grounding to my wrists. Young Living makes so many great blends for your spiritual health. These two happen to be some of my favorites. I love Valor, but right now, summer of 2015, it is out of stock. I am excited to try some of the other great blends we have. One of my biggest struggles is letting go of anger and pain. I love Surrender, Forgiveness and Release for this issue. Release is one of my favorites to use for Vivienne, my toddler as well!
Throughout the day I like to drink some type of Citrus and occasionally Peppermint. Vivienne loves Peppermint. I love how uplifting Lemon, Grapefruit, Lime, Orange and Tangerine are. They do so many other things, too! They all help boost immunity to maintain health. Orange even helps whiten teeth! I feel so much lighter and uplifted when drinking citrus. (Do not drink any other oils except Young Living. Young Living s the highest quality and you can ingest them safely.)
My go to oils for Depression and Anxiety are Stress Away and Joy. They are pretty straight forward in their name and they work! I hated Joy at first, but with continued use, I could tell what positive effect it was having. Stress Away blend is amazing. I diffuse it and carry a roll on. A true must have.
Last but not least, my sleep oils. Sleep is a HUGE issue for me. When I found Young Living Essential Oils I was up to 4 Benadryl a night. FOUR! I was slugging through life just to get sleep. My struggle with sleep was a big part of my addiction. I often drank to pass out. To get my mind to just stop. Th oils I use for sleep are Lavender, Cedarwood and Orange. I have tried several other sleep aids and so far, this is my favorite combo.