Forgive. Sounds simple, but it isn’t. I think it is one of those things that is much easier said than done. I believe that true forgiveness starts with yourself. You have to be able to forgive and let go of the wrongs you have done to be able to let go of the wrongs someone else has done to you. My typical for when I get hurt is to hurt back and then cut that person out of my life. As an adult, I am learning that that is not always possible or a healthy way to deal with pain. It is also not letting you heal. It is the easy, not most effective way out. It is quick, but not painless.
I am by nature, a very emotional and sensitive person. I feel deeply for people, even people I don’t know. I have always been like that. Sobriety has made me more in tune with this and aware of others. I also care about what other people think about me, which is difficult. I do get my feelings hurt when people say mean things about me. Their words stick to me. As I grow in my faith and gain some sober experience, I learn to forgive. I learn to forgive even when someone didn’t ask for it. Forgive someone who isn’t sorry for hurting me. THAT is HARD! My gut reaction is to show them that I can hurt them worse and that they mean nothing to me. I want to win. I am learning that even if I accomplish those things, I am not winning.
The sermon was about forgiveness just at the right time. I felt like he was talking to me. One of the best quotes I have ever heard was in that sermon.
“To cut the root of anger is to wither the tree of human evil.” ~Dallas Willard
If you think about it, that is one of the most true things ever spoken. Anger drives people to do some really awful things. I think we hold on to anger and it gets nurtured and grows. It grows beyond something we can manage. It is no longer ours, but has taken on a new life. There are some things that can really make us/me angry. Things that you have the right to be angry about, but it is those things that we have to be very careful about. The justifiable anger will truly kill you. It allows you to hold on to that anger. To let it grow inside you.
I knew my anger at certain people was unhealthy, but they hurt me, so I didn’t want to let it go. I still don’t, but I know I have to. I know I need to. So I am working on it every day. It is part of my prayers. So when he preached that sermon, I knew it was for me and most likely, the entire congregation.
19 My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, 20 because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. 21 Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you.
22 Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.23 Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror 24 and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. 25 But whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it—not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it—they will be blessed in what they do.
26 Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless. 27 Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.
Those verses pretty much sum it up. Now, actually accomplishing that with my sinful nature is the difficult part.
Watch the sermon here: http://www.thomasvilleroad.org/sermons/sermons/let-it-go-anger/
The 5 basic steps Pastor Clark outlined are:
1. Admit that you’ve been hurt.
This is hard sometimes. To admit hurt is almost like admitting weakness. The good part is that is just fine to be weak in some areas. Also, is caring about others really a weakness? It is how you deal with that hurt that is the important issue. Let God shine in your weakness. Let His power be seen.
2. Hold them accountable for hurting you.
Don’t just dismiss the hurt. Acknowledge it and deal with it. Don’t let it live inside you to grow.
3. Remember how God has forgiven you.
This is key. God forgave and continues to forgive you every day. I believe that forgiveness can be a daily thing. For me it is with certain issues.
4. Go to that person is possible and/or profitable.
Let that person or people know that they hurt you. Allow forgiveness for both parties.
5. Forgive them the same way God forgave you.
Boom. That is it. God forgave you and called us all to do the same. It isn’t easy, but it is necessary to truly live in His will for your life.
Don’t relive the hurt.
Hence, let it go. This is the hardest part for me. I forgive, but hold on to that pain. So I guess I am not really forgiving. The hardest thing is actually forgiving myself for mistakes I made. I can forgive others, but not myself. I beat myself up over and over for something I did wrong years ago. I hold on to those consequences and can’t get past them. This is a tool Satan uses against me often. He holds my past mistakes in front of my face and tells me I will never be better than them. I believe him sometimes. I know I did some awful things. What kind of person am I? A forgiven one. Because it really isn’t about me at all. Forgiveness is allowing God to be God. Let Him banish that pain.
6. Go on the offensive with kindness.
Mom always said kill them with kindness. Which, you can’t really do if your main motive is to hurt that person. You could, but you would really be missing the whole point. Love that person, yourself or another, with no conditions. This can only be done with God. With His love.
I have also been using this lovely oil, Forgiveness, to assist in this process. Getting sober is hard. You have hurt people who hurt you back. You are also aware of emotional pain where you weren’t before. Before sobriety, I drank it away. Now I have to face it. A flood of hurt comes rushing in. Forgiveness Essential Oil helps you connect and process.
Using essential oils, such as Young Living’s Forgiveness blend, has a direct influence on the brain because the sense of smell is the only sense directly wired to the brain. Olfactory nerves transport the aroma of essential oils to the limbic system and the olfactory sensory center at the base of the brain. The impulses are passed next between the pituitary and pineal gland and move to the amygdala, which is the memory center or fear and trauma. Healing and forgiveness can then take place.
The Young Living Forgiveness blend contains soothing and uplifting essential oils that may enhance the ability to release hurtful memories and move beyond emotional barriers. It includes melissa, geranium, frankincense, rosewood, sandalwood, angelica, lavender, lemon, jasmine, Roman chamomile, bergamot, ylang ylang, palmarosa, helichrysum, and rose in a base of sesame seed oil.
Forgiveness Essential Oil is a very powerful spiritual oil blend that has fifteen therapeutic grade oils!
The frequency of Forgiveness oil is 192 MHz which is considered extremely high for an essential oil blend. To give you a comparison the human brain is 72-90 MHz and the body is 62-68 MHz.
Essential oils range from 52-320 MHz with the spiritual oils being over 90 MHz. Rose has the highest at 320 MHz. Anything over the frequency of the human brain is considered extremely high!
Frequency is an indicator of the vibration and energy of food, disease or life! For instance organic food has a higher vibration than conventional food. Processed food is 0 MHz; and studies have shown that just eating lower frequency foods can bring your overall frequency down! Essential Oils raise the vibrational level as soon as you smell them.
When the level of the essential oil is very high it helps us release things quicker by raising our spiritual awareness. Forgiveness essential oil has this effect.
Using it daily can raise your vibration and allow the soul to forgive, forget and release on so many levels. And as we know with most emotional and physical blocks (and disease), our first step starts when we can release denial and begin to forgive ourselves.
Get your kit and Forgiveness Essential Oil here: theoilery.net/vanessa-fletcher
*I am not a doctor and there are no guarantees.