Being parents is a very stressful thing. Being in recovery adds another layer onto that stress. It has only been two years since my clean date. Three months after I was clean I was pregnant. I was drinking everyday for 10 + years before that. Needless to say, I am still trying to figure myself out. Also, being married is hard. If you don’t think so, I think you are lying. Living with your best friend and making a human is just crazy when you think about it! Vivienne is going through this weird phase. I think she is struggling to express herself. Therefore, she cries. A lot. For her, that is unusual. I am use to being the crier. So today, after the craziness finally passed out, Travis asked me to go for a walk. The pups were all for it!
We live on a lake here in Tallahassee. It was truly God’s plan that we found this house to rent. It has amazing character, is the perfect size and the backyard is our favorite freshwater lake in the county! We are both very busy. We both work full-time, are active in church and have other volunteer activities. I hate to say it, but I gloss over my view. I will stop and say, “Wow,” but I don’t have time to walk down to the water.
Today, it wasn’t particularly amazing. It was actually sort of gray. I was glad to spend some moments with my husband outside. We come together and find peace outdoors. It is what binds us. We are very different people, a true yin-yang. We love the same things, just in very different ways. It is easy for us to miscommunicate. Being outside, walking silently, I feel connected to him. Sometimes when we go, we talk about deep issues we need to discuss and other times it is just about our day. Sometimes we don’t talk at all. He seems to know when I need to walk. He knows the past me wanted to drive away and keep driving because I couldn’t face myself. He gets that. I am blessed to have a husband that wants to understand and appreciate my recovery. He truly loves me. He likes me! He wants to spend time with me. I think these simple moments are what make our marriage truly work. I have to remember these precious moments in the strained times. Also, if you don’t have pets, consider it. Mine make me smile everyday.